So I’ve been a little quiet, mostly because things really have been going swimmingly! I have had 8 headachy but happy weeks. Back to work, a night out or two, even a blooming holiday if you will…slap me sideways and call me smiley! But then, then it all started to go a little wrong. Maybe I ran before I could walk, this would be the bit where I fall on my face! I mean don’t get me wrong, after this year, I am happy to roll with the punches, but what happens when you’re firmly back in the ring?
Where has it all gone wrong?? Well, the return to work was going really quite well, a few knocks, but nothing 12 hours a night couldn’t fix. I made my return slowly, 8 hours, 12 hours, 16 hours, 20 hours, 24 hours, 30 hours …BANG! That’s where the brain then said no, enough. So we saw the return of the vertigo, the sickness, headache back in force, visual auras, even throwing in some tinnitus for good measure. After two weeks of returning to a grumpy, dizzy, vomiting, sofa bound recluse. I think the only conclusion can be, I am not ready for full time work.
This is a frustrating, difficult and emotive emission to make. However, I embark on my request to work shorter hours with a flea firmly in my ear from the Dr’s! Win 1, crisis adverted, fully supported by my manager. Phew! I assumed my Occupation Health Advisor would be an easy obstacle to vault. How wrong I was. While I came with a thought out proposal she came with helpful comments such as, ‘the only reason you couldn’t do full hours is MS or cancer’. Do not get me wrong this is not something I would not wish on any poor soul but, blow me down, is this all not enough! ‘And I look fine anyway.’ I forgive her this silly comment and continue my plea to drop back down to 30 hours, temporarily, pretty please! This was met with the suitably patronising…’my love, its irrelevant what you consultant thinks, he doesn’t pay your wages’. Forgive me tax payers for this but I really am trying my bloody best. I promise, I am giving you everything I have. But no, this isn’t adequate, I must attend for the extra 6 hours, just because. After being hit with this assault I was kindly asked if I thought the job was for me and how I may want to consider something else. But the closing remarks, just to give you a flavour or the remarkable advisor she is… ‘don’t worry if you move onto the dismissal process, it’s not really a big deal!’ Last time I checked we were supposed to be on Team Don’t Get Sacked’?! Anyway, I have managed to squeeze four weeks of reduced hours, not because I am entitled, but because she is a compassionate! That’s compassion, apparently!
Fortunately, my ever growing medical team don’t feel the same way and still maintain that I am not that well and my health IS the most important thing. Whilst awaiting the Prof, I’ve remained under the watchful eye of Dr K. I have even gained direct phone numbers to him and, I am almost certainly on Nick’s Christmas card list, Dr K’s secretary. Dr K had warned me last month that it was time for the wonder drug withdrawal. However, after one of my best renditions of ‘blonde on the verge of imminent breakdown’, I managed to postpone this. This warning was etched on my achy head and even my dad’s suggestion of locating it on eBay didn’t help to settle my apprehensions.
So the review was upon us and whilst considering by current work predicament, I had been practising act two. This performance was timed impeccably well for the new influx of registrars. A request was made that I terrorise these fresh faces and I of course accepted! The title of this blog came from the poor guy who had to sit through the whole 11 month story. The conclusion was a shake of the head and a ‘wow, horrible, I’m sorry, I’m just really sorry’. This performance did win me another month and an increased dose of the wonder drug! But I have been warned, again, this is not a long term solution! My problem with this is…what is the solution Dr K, what is it?! I’ve got used to Dr K’s increasing brood and I am still ever hopeful one of the little blighters can come up with a new hypothesis, but I do wish they would hurry up.
In response to the question my head is still achey and my lifestyle has been reduced to weigh each and every proposal up on the neurology nightmare scales. I have learnt the price of fun… This currently ranges from, 3-7 days of symptomatic sofa surfing or more frequently, completely out of my price range. Where is your advert for that MasterCard!? But alas I have given in and ordered another pre paid prescription card, wild!
Got to be time for a quote – The struggle you’re in today is developing the strength for tomorrow!
Me Myself and Migraines! 